This blog is owned and originally published by Via on November 10th, 2023. https://www.vianations.org/families/articles/two-key-ingredients-to-modeling
We’d like to introduce you to one of our new guest authors, Frank Trimble. Frank is the Executive Director of Family Time Training (famtime.com). He lives in Littleton, Colorado with his wife, Kristin, and their two wonderful daughters, Ava and Olivia.
Our organization specializes in training parents to have intentional times of family worship with their kids. However, we find that many parents are very hesitant to begin. Their feelings often stem from negative experiences with their parents that they had as children. The model they received when they were young is not a model they desire to repeat in their own homes. In this article, I want to give you two key ingredients needed to begin appropriately modeling the Christian faith to your kids.
1. Your Love for the Lord. There are many wonderful tools out there to help you disciple your kids. New home Bible study materials seem to be produced every month. We praise God for that! However, no discipleship tool can overcome a spiritually apathetic parent. Kids often mimic the spiritual zeal of their parents. This means that the way in which we view and interact with Jesus will often be copied by our kids. This is a part of God’s design, and why the Holy Spirit inspired Moses to emphasize a knowledge and love for the Lord before giving parents direct instruction on what to teach their children (Deuteronomy 6:4-6). To put it plainly, the most important thing you can do for the spiritual future of your kids is to love Jesus passionately in front of your kids! I’m not asking you to put on a show to impress your children (Matthew 6:1), but please do not keep your faith private. Your kids need to see what it looks like to love Christ and rest in his grace.
2. A Warm Environment. Did you know that creating and maintaining a relationally warm environment in your home and family is one of the most important ingredients for lifelong faith in kids?* The opposite is also true. If our children perceive us as emotionally cold, distant, and unfeeling, this will hamper our efforts to pass on the Christian faith to them. We only have our kids with us for a short time. This presents an awesome opportunity to create an environment in our homes that they want to be a part of. Do your kids feel safe to talk with you about anything? Are you willing to have fun with your kids? Do you feel free to be yourself when teaching your kids about Jesus? Creating a safe and welcoming environment for your kids sets the stage for spiritual conversations to take place that can lead to amazing things.
Does this sound simplistic? Honestly, I hope so! I am burdened when I see parents who desperately want to lead their kids well but are overwhelmed about where to start. They often ask questions like these: “What book do I use? What conference do I attend? What podcast should I listen to? What programs should I involve my kids in at church?” All of these are good questions, but sometimes as parents, we can get ahead of ourselves.
Before we move to strategy, we must be willing to focus on loving Christ with our whole heart and creating warm spaces in our homes for generational discipleship to occur. The discipleship tools will be there when we are ready to dive in. However, now might just be the perfect occasion to focus on Christ and laugh with our kids.
*Vern L. Bengston, Families and Faith: How Religion Is Passed Down across Generations Vern L. Bengston, Families and Faith, 186.
Frank Trimble is the Executive Director of Family Time Training in Littleton, CO (famtime.com). However, his primary ministry is to his wife, Kristin, and their two wonderful daughters, Ava and Olivia.
